I am a year younger than the Husband, so I will enjoy many more months of over-the-hill jokes. However, a blog post full of corny quips would probably be more of a present for me, not him. So instead, to celebrate the birthday of my favorite person in the world, I’d like to share a bit about the formation of this old, old man (sorry, last joke – now to get serious).
The Husband is not perfect by any means, he would want me to assure you, as he is not quite who he is supposed to be. Yet, by God’s grace, he is not who he was.
He was, of course, the man I fell in love with. I was crazy in love when we got married. And yet, as special as it was then, I see now that I was given something far more valuable than I realized on my wedding day. I was given a husband who would one day be transformed into who he is at forty.
He has always been a likeable person – funny, and intelligent, the driving force behind the laughter in our home. He is still those things. Though he is now, in some very important ways, a much different man than the person I used to know. It happened gradually, and over years of marriage, career changes and moves, education, children, loss and grief, good churches, and friendships. What I mean to say is, God caused it through those means.
What does a successful 40-year-old man look like? We often assign financial gain, position, and status as hallmarks of a successful life; hopefully he’s made something of himself by 40!
But Sacrifice? Humility and submission? A call to ministry? Dying to self? How did this happen? He would want me to give credit where credit is due.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ got a hold of him, that’s what happened. He came to the shocking realization that he (a great guy! a successful person!) was a sinner in need of God’s grace. That he was broken, and could not fix himself. That he would never – could never – do enough, or achieve enough to make himself right. And that it is Jesus who achieves our forgiveness on the cross – who saves, redeems, and heals. My husband’s greatest desire is to hear that message preached, and to see those around him changed by it.
In recent years, I have watched him embrace his role as the servant leader of both our family and our church. I think his persona at home is most accurately portrayed in his treatment of our little daughter: compassionate, gentle, guiding, and protective. In the church, I see him strive daily for a sacred balance between the strength needed to shepherd a flock, and the wise restraint required to avoid overbearing leadership.
These are the kind of jobs that can only be done well when submitting to the Spirit. There must be prayer, and an intense love and study of Scripture. A God-instilled fidelity to his church and family also help to ease his burden. But what really drives this man is a deep and enduring love for his Savior. He is devoted to the One who called him, who leads him still.
There is a passage in Philippians that always reminds me of the Husband. From prison, the apostle Paul wrote of his own personal success, listing his accomplishments and credentials. In many ways, the world diagnosed a successful man then in much the same way as we do now. Yet Paul, like the Husband, had been taught humility. He had been given eyes to see our true Treasure, in this life and the next. “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” This is my husband.
It’s a thing of immense beauty to see someone give his life to the Lord, to understand his right standing with God because of the cross of Christ, and to fall under the control of the Holy Spirit. I will spend a large portion of eternity praising and thanking my Father for allowing me to witness this process, up close and personal.
The Husband, at 40? He’s pretty great. In fact, he is a gift.
The Type B Mom 